a great adventure.

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During our engagement, our premarital counselors Curt and Rhonda shared a G.K. Chesterton quote with us to give us a healthy perspective on the challenges that can come with marriage, and it has stuck with me ever since:

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.

It's often tempting to look at the inconveniences in life as, well, inconveniences. But when we choose to change our attitude and perspective (as I'm constantly trying to do), we will all see that adventure lies ahead, and life will just be a whole lot more fun, won't it?

Do you view your life as an adventure? When has a great inconvenience in your life turned into a grand adventure?

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darkest before the dawn.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."
Florence + The Machine

That line is reminiscent of Switchfoot's The Shadow Proves the Sunshine, but of course it does carry a different meaning. While Switchfoot's song alluded to the evidence of ultimate good because darkness exists, I take Florence's lyric to be more about the hope that comes when we're at our breaking point.

I confess, working alone can be a wonderful thing or my worst nightmare (you extroverts out there know what I'm talking about, I'm sure). It seems all of my good days are great days, and my bad days seem endlessly lonely and unproductive. I've found that listening to positive, soulful music helps me stay inspired throughout the tough days—this song being one of them.

Every time I hear Florence sing "It's always darkest before the dawn," I remember that just as a bursting, fiery sunrise can follow a dark, moonless night, tough days are always followed by good days eventually. Each day is new and carries new hope, and it's that hope that always carries me through moments, days and at times even months where life is less-than-ideal.

What gets you through your tough days? What do Florence's lyrics mean to you?

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glamour in the soul.

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While watching the Oscars last night, I found myself thinking countless times about how much more glamorous those celebrities are than I am (comparison really is the great thief of joy). As I lusted over their gorgeous dresses, perfect hair and skin, and poised postures, I started to feel frumpy. Average. Forgettable.

Then I woke up this morning and stumbled upon this lovely little nugget from Elizabeth Taylor:

“I’ve come to the realization that it doesn’t matter whether you have no money or don’t own the most expensive clothes. Glamour isn’t about who you’re wearing or what’s trending. You cannot buy it or possess it. Glamour is in your soul.”

Rather than feel less-than by comparing myself to other, more glamorous women, I need to find my own inner glamour. Comparison will get me nowhere, but acceptance and appreciation of my own unique glamour will only make me that much more radiant and confident. After all, confidence is the best accessory, isn't it?

What does glamour look like to you? When do you feel most glamorous?

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weekend reading.

In an effort to stay connected and keep our minds sharp and curious, my college girlfriends and I have started a virtual book club. This weekend I'll once again be taking advantage of some free time to settle in with a hot cup of tea and our enthralling pick: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. Our first meeting will take place via Google Hangouts on March 20th, and I can't wait to her what my best girls thought of this fascinating nonfiction story.

Are you in a book club? What are you reading lately--whether for a club or just your own pleasure?

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no shortcuts.

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I've always been a person of efficiency. I like to get the most bang for my buck with my time, and I'm always looking for the fastest or easiest way to get something checked off my list. While this can be a great quality when it comes to simple tasks during the work day (and impressing employers), it's a really bad one when it comes to character development and personal growth.

The truth is, we need to sit in the grit if we ever want to grow into the women we've been designed to become. We can't skip over the hard work of learning how to be kind, joyful, generous, compassionate, loving, and confident. Have you ever tried to muster up those qualities? It only works for a little while, then our true selves come out. When we try to take the easy route, our willpower always fails us.

Everything worth doing requires hard work and patience. Are you sad? Let yourself feel the sadness for a bit. Are you angry? Do some journaling to dig deeper and find out the root cause. Are you happy today? Take some time to write down what you're thankful for. Let's refuse to settle for the coping mechanisms we've settled for in the past in order to avoid true growth (zoning out in front of the TV, being over-committed, turning to food).

Let's be the kind of women who don't shy away from challenges. Let's check our pride at the door and surrender ourselves to God, who is able and eager to help us become radiant, beautiful women. As we work through difficult times (and practice gratitude when life is going smoothly), we will authentically cultivate those qualities we desire but have avoided developing for so long—no willpower required.

Do you tend to avoid challenges, or face them head-on? When have you taken the time to work through a tough time and come out a stronger/better person on the other side of it?

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not magnificent.

"And at once I knew I was not magnificent."
Bon Iver

I write a lot about insecurity, low self-esteem and poor body image, but rarely to I venture into the world of pride. As I listened to Bon Iver while working yesterday, I found myself fixated on that one sentence: and at once I knew I was not magnificent.

While often we suffer from the issues I just mentioned, I think we are also prone to think too highly of ourselves. We are prideful about what we look like, how much money we make, our test scores, how many friends we have (whether in real life or on social sites). We can even be self-righteous and have an unhealthy pride about how holy or good we think we are (always a dangerous road, if you ask me).

When we believe the lies that tell us we're high and mighty, we fail to recognize that indeed we are not magnificent. That quality belongs to God alone, and only through becoming more like Him—kind, generous, compassionate, loving, etc—can we dare dream of becoming that way too.

When have you realized that you're not as magnificent as you thought? How did it impact your life and/or change your behavior?

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love + mumford.

Any Mumford & Sons fans out there? Today I absolutely cannot stop listening to them. While all of their music is powerful and moving, there are a few specific lyrics on love from their songs that strike a chord in me every time I hear them:

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Do these lyrics strike a chord in you also? What do they mean to you today?

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beauty, aging, and being ourselves.

In light of the inspiring and thought-provoking article by Adrienne Sandvos posted on Darling Magazine's site yesterday, I wanted to share some quotes and my own personal thoughts. Please share your own comments below—you know I love a good beauty discussion :)

"The truth is that our bodies often tell a story, but there are some truths we don’t want to actually see. It goes without saying that any physical sign of aging is generally rejected in the media world, thus setting a standard of beauty that is inseparable from the appearance of youth. Attributes that may have once testified to life experience and wisdom are now worn like a scarlet letter."

• This could not be more true—from a very young age, we women are told (sometimes implicitly, and sometimes explicitly) that aging is not okay. We are considered "in our prime" in college and our early twenties, and after that we're supposed to mourn the loss of our former beautiful selves. As a result, we feel guilt and shame about our appearance and value as we age, and we spend our entire adult lives trying to return to our 20-something selves.

"We want to control the content of the message that others read when they look at us, along with our skewed interpretation we’ve developed when we look into the mirror."

• Adrienne points out that sometimes we try to manipulate our appearance because we don't like the story people see when they look at us. Again, shame and guilt are in the picture. I think in many ways we try to retain our youth as a means of erasing some of the pain and mistakes we make as we age. We attempt to delete failures and rejection by making ourselves seem perfect and brand-new.

"As women, we have to love truth more than we love control if we are ever going to be able to love ourselves and others unconditionally. We have to learn to be OK with what is instead of feeding the silent beast of self-hatred by trying to force what is not. If we don’t, the original story gets lost in the pile of revisions....When we put the pen down and stop trying to rewrite the story, we may discover and enjoy a different kind of beauty altogether."

• Truth must always win over our need for control, power, comfort or approval. We need to understand first that we are already loved as we are (by the One who created us) if we ever hope to love who we really are. The longer we try to change ourselves because of self-hatred, the longer we will live lives of guilt, shame and regret rather than peace, acceptance and gratitude. Let's be original versions of ourselves rather than copies of someone else.

For more thoughts on the beauty in aging, please read my previous post on the topic, growing into beauty.

What are your thoughts on aging, beauty and being our original selves?

Image via Pinterest

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go do.

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Go do. Two words that can mean so many different things to so many different people. Two simple words that command action on our part. Two words that impact how our days, our months and our years will look:

• Today, those words mean trying out a new coworking space, because I know that working out of my apartment just won't result in the kind of work I know I'm capable of producing.
• This month, they mean moving to a brand new city and diving right in: meeting new friends, picking a new church, and finally adopting a dog to share my love with.
• This year, they've meant taking a leap of faith to finally have a career that I'm proud of, and one I know I can excel at.

What do these two words mean for you today? This month? This year?

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love, acceptance + gratitude: thoughts on yoga.

This week I went to yoga for the first time since reading this article by Mark Driscoll about the spiritual conflict that exists when Christians practice yoga. I must say, his article was well-written, thoroughly researched and thought-provoking. And while I whole-heartedly agreed with him for a few months, I’ve recently changed my mind on the subject and thought I’d share my reasons with you girls.

My resistance to yoga was certainly impacted by my year of living in Encinitas, CA, which—to those of you who are unfamiliar with its reputation—is essentially the yoga capital of the US, or at least the west coast. While working at lululemon, I tried several yoga classes around town (thanks to my free fitness class benefits) and I was hardpressed to find a class that wasn’t spiritual.

Now, I 100% understand that yoga is originally intended to be a spiritual practice in order to connect with the Hindu concept of God; however, I do believe that the movements done in yoga can be separated from worship. Every studio is different and exists for different purposes. Yes, there are plenty of studios that lean toward the spiritual practice of yoga; but there are probably just as many that teach yoga for the purpose of exercise, stress-relief and flexibility.

Yoga promotes love, acceptance and gratitude (not to mention peace and healthy body image) in a way that no other exercise ever has for me. It teaches me to be thankful for the body I have been given, and to live a life of compassion—for myself and for others around me. Those are all qualities that I strive for as someone who follows Christ, and they do not in any way conflict with my faith; in fact, I find that yoga helps me grow deeper in my relationship with God.

Each time I take those deep yoga breaths and work through difficult new poses, I understand that I am capable of more than I realized; I see that I have a greater power within me (which I know as the Holy Spirit), and that through that power I can trust that I will not be overcome by my circumstances and surroundings.

What are your feelings about yoga? Love it or hate it? Let's discuss!

P.S. After I posted this, my new blogger friend Bonnie told me about Holy Yoga and their response to the Mark Driscoll article. Definitely worth a read—thanks for sharing, Bonnie!

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happy valentine's day: you're a gem.

In honor of Valentine's Day today, I wanted to share some cute little e-valentines by Kate Spade New York for you to share with your girlfriends or your special someone. Below are a few of my favorites, and you can find all of the designs on their blog or Facebook page here and here:

Sharing is simple! Just choose how you want to spread the love, and you'll be sure to make someone's day today...

• Email: Download your favorite e-valentine via the kate spade Facebook album, b mine, and send that image to your friend with a nice little message in the email body.
• Share via FB: Whether it be on your own wall (and thus to all of your beloved friends), on someone special's wall, or via FB message, you can share your favorite valentine by clicking on the image from the FB album, and clicking on the share button. Use the drop-down menu to choose where the love will go.
• Tweet: Download it and add the image to your tweet, mentioning the person you want to receive it—and don't forget to mention @katespadeny, too!

Above all, know this: YOU ARE LOVED!! Do you have a valentine this year? How are you celebrating this day of love?

P.S. This flirty one is definitely going to Brian today, haha...

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misplaced obsession: overcoming idolatry.

This post is entirely inspired by the sermon we heard this weekend at The Austin Stone. It's the third part of a series, and while I haven't heard the first two parts quite yet, you can listen to part one and part two through the Austin Stone sermons page.

First things first...what is idolatry? On a basic level, idolatry happens when we try to satisfy our eternal desires with non-eternal things. What do you think is the most important thing—all that you think about and all that you care about? Identify that, and you have your idol right there. You see, eternity (and eternal things and values) have been placed on our hearts since the very start:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV)

We are discontent with so many things in our lives: our jobs or classes, our salaries, our boyfriends or husbands, our bodies. We obsess over those areas of discontentment, but we fail to see that created things cannot heal eternal needs for love, joy and value. We act like the people described in the book of Romans:

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. (Romans 1:25 NIV)

Through his series, Matt (pastor at Austin Stone) identified four idols that are at the root of all of our non-God obsessions: power, control, comfort, and approval.

Personally, I really identify with the idols of control and approval. When I look back at the obsessions of my past, I see that they have always been linked to my need for control over my environment and surroundings, or they have ties to my deep desire to be loved and praised by others.

The good news (which also is difficult news) is that through our relationship with God, we will be set free from our idolatry. It's something we're promised, and something we can be certain of. God is always perfecting the good work that he began in us from the moment he knit us together in our mother's womb. Every single day of our lives, God is at work making us look more and more like Jesus—the one and only true image of perfection. It's both liberating and frustrating to come to terms with this, because while we want to experience satisfaction in God alone, we are all reluctant to let go of our obsessions.

God's desire is to set us free. While we have all let go of God a million times throughout our lives—turning away from Him to pursue something that won't satisfy—God has never let go of us. Idols are counterfeit, and they never satisfy our heart's real desires. But God's love is real, deep, and true. We are His, and He wants us to be free forever.

Which root idol(s) do you most relate to?

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be back monday...

Good morning, girls! As you know, Brian and I just moved from San Diego to Austin, TX. Woo! We absolutely love our new place, and have enjoyed our proximity to Ladybird Lake and the Whole Foods headquarters.

I've decided to take the week off from writing in order to focus on all of our unpacking and long lists of to-dos that come with switching states. Not to mention, taking care of our brand new pup Maggie, who we just adopted from Austin Pets Alive! Isn't she the cutest?

Be back Monday!

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on confidence.

I'm sad to say that my six-part series for Darling Magazine has come to an end. While I'm excited to write about different topics in the coming weeks, I've so enjoyed exploring the qualities of real beauty and applying them to my life (well, at least trying to). Below is an excerpt of my final article, which is about confidence. You can read the entire article on Darling's site here, or catch up on the whole series here.

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When I was in high school, I carried myself with too much confidence. While I didn’t see it that way at the time, I now know that my confidence was rooted in pride, rather than a strong grasp of my own value and worth.

Years later when I was in college, my confidence plummeted to the ground as I battled with my body image for the first time ever (how I skipped that phase of adolescence, I have no idea). Not only did I have a negative view of my appearance, but I also had low self-esteem rooted in the self-imposed pressure to succeed at everything I set out to do. I was a mess, to say the least. The pendulum swung from one extreme to another, and I couldn’t seem to find the balance.

Some say that “confidence is the best accessory,” and while I agree to an extent, I’d argue that the statement is only true when our confidence is based on the right thing. Confidence and pride do not go together, but rather true confidence stands firmly on our understanding of who we are. [Read more here...]

UPDATE: Read the whole series here.

How do you cultivate real confidence in your life?

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spring fashion favorites.

Although fall is my favorite season of all four, spring really isn't so bad. It's bright time of blooming flowers and bright colors. It's a time when the chilly air starts to wear off a bit, but the scorching sun hasn't quite arrived. Spring isn't at the top of my list, but it's not at the bottom either. With the upcoming move (we start our drive tomorrow--eek!), my focus is at an all-time low. Thus, today I'm drawing inspiration for springtime style ideas from my Pinterest personal style board...

Fun combinations of casual and dressy, courtesy of J.Crew.

Sparkly gold loafers with skinny jeans.

Stripes and shorts.

Easy, breezy skirt combos.

What are your favorite kind of outfits to wear during springtime?

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hope and possibility.

Today the movers are coming to pack up every little thing in our San Diego condo, except for a couple of suitcases and our trusty new Aerobed, which will be our new best friend for the next ten days or so while the moving truck travels to our new home in Texas.

I've been amazed (and thankful) that the uncertainties in my life—Brian's next job, our future city of residence, our next apartment—have now morphed into possibilities—a new church to serve in, a different place to go for a jog in the morning, new restaurants to explore, an opportunity to improve my work environment.

I was uncomfortably uncertain for several months as our future seemed to hang in the balance, but I decided to choose hope instead of fear. It was a daily choice, don't get me wrong, but it was a necessary choice. Rather than worry about what was to come, I chose to hope (and pray and trust) that God would provide whatever was supposed to come. And through that hope, he turned my uncertain future into grand possibilities.

When have you seen uncertainty turn into possibility in your life?

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