on generosity.

Below is an excerpt of the fifth article in my six-part series on beauty for Darling Magazine. You can read the entire article on their website here.

Back in August 2009, I received an email from my now-husband saying, “Now…this is random, but just go with it and I’ll give you more details later.” He followed the sentence with an excerpt from the book of Mark in the Bible:

“Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” (Mark 12:41-44)

After I read it, I went back and read it about fifteen more times. I was meeting him for lunch that day, and since he didn’t tell me why he’d sent the excerpt for me to read, I assumed it was something he wanted to discuss with me further. However, much to my surprise, as soon as I got to San Diego he handed me a pretty little purple box with the most beautiful necklace inside...[read more here]

UPDATE: Read the whole series here.

When have you been on the receiving end of a generous act? How did it impact you?

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live simply.

[photo credit]

This print is both pretty and true. After a weekend of packing up my entire life into brown cardboard boxes, this statement could not be more relevant to me. Brian and I agreed that we should simplify the move (and our future lives in Austin) by giving away or tossing out anything that we don't use, need or want. I admit, some items were tougher than others to look at objectively, but ultimately simplifying made me feel fantastic.

I try to live simply every day—from keeping my getting-ready routine low-key, to eating simple, healthful foods. For this week in particular, though, "live simply" means letting go of possessions that do nothing but make my closets more cluttered and my life more complicated. Simple is always better in my book.

Do you try to live simply? What does that look like in your life?

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goodbye san diego, hello austin.

San Diego sunset at Powerhouse Park.

I have some bittersweet news to share with you, my lovely readers and dear friends: Brian just accepted a new job, and we are MOVING TO AUSTIN, TEXAS!! I say bittersweet because there are certainly people, places and things that will be missed from the past several years we've spent in San Diego.

First, the bitter...

• Karen and Greg. These two have become our best friends in San Diego. They are the friends we can call anytime, for anything. They are truly members of the home team—the kind of people for whom I don't need to put on makeup or clean up for, and who know that our fridge is their fridge. I will miss our sushi double dates, our movie nights, and all of the laughter that inevitably happens whenever we get together. Karen and Greg, please book a trip to Austin ASAP. Deal?
• My women's bible study. This group has become the highlight of every week. On Tuesday mornings, I always wake up with a smile because I know I'll see the faces of those women who I confide in and learn with. I will miss each of them dearly, but especially our leader, Spring. She has the greatest gift for investing in young women, and without knowing it she has been a mentor and role model for me since the moment I met her. I know I'll find another group in Austin that I'll one day feel the same about. But until then, I'll miss my Tuesday morning bible study friends!
• Beach picnics. Sadly, we are saying goodbye to the beach. My favorite time to be at the beach isn't in the heat of the day, but rather in the evening when the sun is starting to go down and the air is chilly enough that you better grab your fleece before you head out the door. During the summertime, Brian and I used to spend most of our date nights snacking on our homemade picnic foods and watching the sun set into the Pacific. I'll definitely miss those sweet times breathing in the salty air!
• Starbucks (a.k.a. my office). This seems comical, but is in fact true. I go to the same Starbucks every single day, and have even become friends with many of the staff there. It's like Cheers (where everybody knows your name) when I go in there, and I will truly miss seeing their cheerful Barista faces once I'm gone.
• Girlfriends. I've had a chance to make some great girlfriends in my time here in SD. Although many of them are also intending to move soon, I'll miss the sweet times we've had together while we all lived in the same city. I'll miss our coffee dates, lunches, dinner parties, and especially those fun girls nights that I just spent so much time bragging about.

And now, the sweet...

• Getting a dog. This is by far the biggest perk in my book. When it first became an option for us to move to Texas, Brian made a public promise to me in front of several good friends that if we moved to Texas, he would buy me a dog. Well, friends...that time has arrived. I can't wait to find the perfect pup and bombard you with cute photos! You know you're excited too.
• Closer to other friends. Leaving good friends is not fun at all. But moving closer to other friends is definitely a perk. All of Brian's best friends live in Texas, and all of their wives are absolutely amazing women of God. I kid you not, those boys married right! I'm looking forward to seeing those ladies more often and being more invested in their lives on a regular basis. Also, my friend Erin lives in Austin, and Rachel and Jenn are just a few hours away in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. It'll be fun to be able to see all those girls regularly again!
• A new church. While it's tough to leave behind our church—which was just starting to feel like home—the possibility of our next church is very exciting. I love that Austin is a college town, and I look forward to having more opportunities to invest in the girls at UT through a college ministry. Also, we've been commuting a bit to our current church, but now have a chance to find a church that's closer to our new place so that we can dig in deep to the church community we choose.
• Coworking space. Though it will pain me to say goodbye to my beloved Starbucks, I plan to start working from a coworking space once we get to Austin. If you don't know what that is, it's essentially an office full of people who don't work for the same company So fun, right? Last week I shared 10 thoughts for winter, one of which said, "the best work environments foster personal connection as well as productivity." I think the coworking space will do just that, and I can't wait.
• Great location. Giving up the beach is less-than-ideal, but there is a bit of good news location-wise: we are going to live by Ladybird Lake, a beautiful body of water running through downtown Austin, complete with big trees and a nice long trail for Brian, me and our future pup to take long strolls on. Woo!

Austin's Ladybird Lake. A heavenly oasis in the middle of busy downtown.

So you can now fully see how this move away from San Diego is both sad and exciting. We are leaving behind some beautiful people and memories, but eagerly looking ahead to this new adventure for our family of two. I feel so confident in our decision, and am thrilled by the possibilities that lie ahead.

Have you ever moved from one state to another? What were you sad to leave behind, and what were you looking forward to when you got there?

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true beauty: karen marie cummings.

I haven't done a True Beauty post in a while, I know. Somehow the time just slipped through my fingers and I didn't realize that I'd let this fun series go to the wayside. However, I am glad to say that it's back in action. And who better to start up again with than Karen Marie Cummings? Karen and I have been friends since middle school, and she is truly the reason why I am a follower of Christ today. She is the kind of girl who is comfortable in her own skin, loves to laugh, and doesn't mind tagging along as a third wheel if necessary. As you read, you will see that she is both honest and insanely witty. I kid you not, I laughed out loud as I read through every word of her responses! I am so thankful for her calming presence and positive influence in my life, and that now you all get to know a bit more about her and see what makes her the beauty that she is...

What is your greatest passion in life? How do you live it out?

I have been asking myself this question for years, always expecting the answer to solve everything once I finally know what it is. So of course I have no solid answer. That being said, I have always been drawn to doing things that build myself and others up together. Any interaction that leaves both parties better than they were—I like that. Laughter, a good compliment, a long-needed conversation, or a helping hand at work. All of these things make me feel alive, so I guess that's where my greatest passion is. Great—life solved.

What woman inspires you?

This question puzzled me for the entire drive from San Diego to Los Angeles one day—how do I choose just one inspiring woman? The world has always been blessed by so many strong, dazzling, inspiring, and truly groovy women. Therefore, I've decided to choose them all—every inspiring part of each woman that I admire. So here goes—I am inspired to be a woman with:

• The chutzpah of Annie Oakley
• The gracious class of Laura Bush
• The nurturing spirit of Mama Bisiqua (a woman I met in Uganda who mothered 10 young orphans)
• The comedic timing of Amy Pohler
• The feminine strength of my Grandma Helen
• The resolve of Rosa Parks
• The athletic ability of the 1996 USA Women's Gymnastics team (if you were a 10 year old girl in 1996 you know who I'm talking about)

How does what you do for a living fit in with your passions and what you feel is your calling?

Hmm...that question is kind of a killer. I could parade around and tweak my job to sound impressive, but the bottom line is that I work a non-flashy receptionist/catering job at a country club. An ego-booster it is not, but enjoyable it is. That little spark I described earlier from building others up and making connections—I get to fulfill that every day. I once worked in an office with only five people in it, and I almost suffocated. Starting this job and jumping into thousands of conversations, putting on weddings, hosting trivia night, and chatting with 88-year-old gentlemen is like an oxygen-tank-sized breath of fresh air. I am thankful every day that I get to interact with my co-workers, the friendly club members, and the clients that we serve. An elderly lady seriously praised me for almost five minutes for "speaking so clearly into the microphone." Honestly, where else do you get job satisfaction like that?

When do you feel most alive?

I feel most alive when I'm laughing. Hands down. Do you ever laugh so joyfully that it actually feels like you are breathing in? Like you are getting more filled and lighter at the same time? A good laugh is like perfectly cooked squash—sweet, nourishing, warm, and good to your belly. If I had to choose between never laughing again and having a never-ending 80's perm...I would go straight to Walgreens for some L.A. Looks gel.

What do you think is the most challenging thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

At least for me, the biggest challenge is probably finding a community of other 20-something girls following Jesus. The safety of my home church is 10 hours away, and the ease of college-based bible studies are gone. This presents so many new opportunities to meed rad women of Jesus, but the process is just much different than it was in the past. I'm learning to grow and reach in this area, and I encourage any other 20-somethings that are doing this to just go for it. Lean on the words of a wise Jedi: "Do or do not, there is no try."

What do you think is the most rewarding thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

The most rewarding part is how many years we get to follow our Lord! Think about it, some women don't learn about Jesus until late in life, and we 20-somethings get to see him through every stage in our lives. His faithfulness through every decade, every trial, and every relationship will be our living testimony. I can't wait to look back in 40 years at pictures of my wedding and know that Jesus was there. Plus, this is the age where great decisions are made, great movements are started, and great energy is waiting to be used. I love that I can do all that for Him who calls me friend.

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time for girlfriends.

Recently I had a girls weekend with my college bests, and a girls night with former coworkers who have become some of my dearest friends in San Diego. I read in The Happiness Project that "the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women," and that's really all the motivation I need (as if I really needed any in the first place) to spend more intentional, quality time with the ladies in my life.

GIRLS WEEKEND: Me, Rebecca, Karli and Rachel at my parents' house.

GIRLS WEEKEND: Pizza party.

GIRLS NIGHT: Emlyn and me at Burlap.

GIRLS NIGHT: Ann and Colleen, across the table.

While Brian is an excellent husband and best friend, he is not and never will be a girl (thankfully). It's tempting to try to make him act like one of my girlfriends when I want to talk about my bangs or a potential new purchase from J.Crew. And while he will definitely pretend like he cares and listen attentively, I know it's really not the role he needs to play in my life. Girlfriends are absolutely necessary and irreplaceable. I am a better wife, a more insightful writer and a more satisfied person in general when I cultivate and nurture girl friendships.

What about you—do you cultivate and nurture your female friendships? Why or why not?

P.S. Tonight is yet another girls night with Emlyn, Ann and Colleen. So timely, right? This time, we'll be watching When Harry Met Sally and snacking on homemade treats. Can't say I don't practice what I preach!

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10 thoughts for winter.

Whole Living is my favorite magazine—closely followed by Real Simple of course—and I find that combining it with an outdoorsy-scented candle and a cozy blanket is always a recipe for relaxation and peace. One of my favorite things they include in every issue is a page with 10 thoughts that tie into their articles for the month. The image above is a snapshot of their thoughts for this month, and below are my personal takes on the ones that relate most to my life right now:

#1 Nourish your mind as carefully as you nourish your body.
Our bodies, minds and souls are undoubtedly interconnected. I think it's tempting to focus energy on the physical (our appearance, our food, etc.), but the mental is just as important. Right now, I'm doing this by setting aside significant amounts of time during my days to read and write—and I'm also now part of a virtual book club with my girlfriends from college (many thanks to you, Google Hangouts, for enabling us to discuss literature from afar).

#4 If you feel the need to be critical, be sure it is coming from a place of kindness.
I am a highly self-critical person, so this thought hits close to home. As Madison discussed earlier this week in her guest post, there is no room for negative self-talk. Instead of talking down to myself and feeling bad, when I see something in life that needs correcting I can choose to be kind to myself and make a plan for improvement.

#8 The best work environments foster personal connection as well as productivity.
This is one that I've spent a lot of time thinking about lately. While I love what I do and I love the freedom and flexibility of working from home, I do crave a designated workspace that will provide social interaction and space for creativity and productivity. Maybe it's a co-working space, or perhaps a home office with a nice, bright window. Either way, I'm committed to finding a place that suits my career choice and enables me to do the good work I aspire to do.

#10 The new year isn't a do-over; it's an opportunity to take your next big step.
I find a lot of freedom in this thought. It's tempting to feel like we have to start all over every January and suddenly become the woman we've intended to be all along; however, I think instead of a blank slate, it's more like a next page. Our lives are always moving forward, and each year we build upon what we've already done—even if things didn't go as planned. This year is just the next page in my book of life, and my chance to take a big step in whatever direction I so desire (like this one, among others).

Do any of these thoughts speak to your life right now? How so?

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on love.

I've written about kindness, joy, compassion, and now love for my series on beauty for Darling Magazine. You can catch up on articles you've missed here, and stay tuned for the final two articles in the series in the coming weeks: generosity and confidence.

Love is an action, a decision, a choice. Love does not require that we like the person on the receiving end, and in fact the most powerful forms of love occur when the one we love is an enemy or someone who has wronged us.

Love is a selfless act. It demands that we set aside our wants and desires in order to meet the needs of others. Love forgives quickly and serves readily. Love calls for sacrifice.

As a newlywed, I’ve learned more about love this year than I did in the past twenty-four. I know the statements above to be true because day in and day out, I either see them in action, or see things fall apart when they are missing.

Aside from this first year of marriage, I experienced real, life-changing love during several difficult years of battling anorexia during college. Consumed with coping with my own pain and emotionally numb, I truly had nothing to offer those around me. I felt worthless and unlovable; looking back I can see that while my actual worth never changed, I certainly was a hard-to-love friend. Nonetheless, my friends stood by me. [Read more...]

UPDATE: Read the whole series here.

When have you experienced love when you didn't feel like you deserved it?

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big, wavy hair tutorials.

In the past year I've had three hair revelations that have completely transformed my getting-ready routine:

1. the beloved sock bun
2. fedora (and other) hats
3. my natural hair texture

I used to spend what seemed like forever either straightening or curling-slash-teasing my hair every morning. Until this year, that is, when I realized that I have wavy hair and it's perfectly okay to embrace my natural texture—in fact, it's easier and my hair ends up looking better overall.

Once I decided that my wavy hair was here to stay, I went to my hair stylist. I let my hair air dry beforehand, and then asked her to cut it in a way that it would fall nicely without heat styling. Voila! Not only do I get to spend less time doing my hair now, but I also have the added benefit of reduced heat exposure. It's a win-win if you ask me.

While I find peace and comfort in this new kind of self-acceptance, I also understand these two facts:

1. sometimes air-dried wavy hair doesn't turn out as expected, and thus needs a little styling boost
2. some people don't have wavy hair but wish they did, and thus would like to know how to make that happen

Personally, I rely on the air-dry-plus-hair-putty or big-curling-iron methods, but there are definitely several different ways to achieve big, wavy hair—and it all really depends on the kind of hair you have and the kind of waves you want to end up with. Thus, here are some helpful tutorials I've found on style blogs and YouTube, which I hope will help you handle and love your beautiful mane...

For those of you who are into more of a messy look, like how Carrie Bradshaw's hair looks, love to use several products, and only need or want to do your hair every few days:

For those of you who covet Alexa Chung's short, slept-in waves:

For those who have long hair and love big, soft and bouncy waves (or who have always wanted to know how to properly use hot rollers):

What's your favorite kind of wavy hair? Have any other helpful tutorials to share?

Image via Pinterest

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no fat talk.

Hello, Thoughts by Natalie readers! My name is Madison and I’m a wife, puppy mommy and food editor living in Iowa. And when I find a few extra minutes during the week, I spend it blogging about food and life over at Espresso and Cream. I’m so thrilled Natalie asked me to guest post, seeing as that her blog is one of the most uplifting and honest corners of the web.

Madison, along with her smiling hubby and adorable little pup Nutmeg.

Last week on my blog I talked a bit about my goals for 2012. Typically, I’ve made resolutions such as ‘lose five pounds’ or ‘drop a jean size,’ but I wanted more from 2012. I wanted to work on shifting the way I talk, and think, about my body and to start to see myself the way God sees me. So I decided to institute a ‘No Fat Talk’ policy for the entire year. And because I know that I’m not the only person who has uttered a ‘my thighs look huge’ or ‘look at how fat I look in that photo’ before, I invite you to take the journey with me.

The article that first got me thinking about improving my body talk habits was, surprisingly, from Glamour magazine. Since most women’s magazines skew our perception of what a ‘normal’ body looks like, it seems an unlikely source. But nonetheless, it got me thinking. Here are a few of the more shocking statistics:

• 97% of women will have at least one ‘I hate my body’ moment each day (source)
• On average, women have 13 negative body thoughts a day (source)

From a psychological perspective, it went on to say the following:

Our unattainable cultural beauty ideals, our celebrity worship—those all play a part, says Kearney-Cooke. But another big reason is that we’ve actually trained ourselves to be this way. “Neuroscience has shown that whatever you focus on shapes your brain. If you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts about your body, that neural pathway becomes stronger—and those thoughts become habitual,” she explains. “Imagine a concert pianist. Her brain would have stronger neural pathways that support musicality and dexterity than someone who hadn’t spent her life practicing.”

When I really got to thinking about it, the concept made perfect sense. I was spending countless minutes each day focusing on my ‘imperfections,’ or at least my perceived imperfections. And not only was I focusing on them, I was also giving those thoughts power by verbalizing them and hearing them again with my own ears.

It was a lightbulb moment. How could I ever get better at loving my body if I didn’t practice it with my words and actions? Up until this point, I hadn’t fought the negative thoughts, but instead gave into them easily.

I decided to start practicing, committing myself to not verbalize any fat talk. And while it helped a bit, I soon realized that it wasn’t enough to just not say those things. We all need to fill the void with positive affirmations from ourselves, our loved ones, and, most importantly, God. Here are a few examples:

1. Ourselves: Think about something you’ve done recently with your body that brings you joy or a sense of satisfaction. Maybe that’s a race you’ve run, an accomplishment at the gym, or a hike you went on that your legs carried you through.
2. Our Loved Ones: Share with those close to you what you’re trying to do and the motivations behind it. I asked my husband to help support me and encourage me, and when I feel the urge to say something negative about myself, we take a minute to pray together. It’s amazing how quickly time with the Lord pushes away thoughts that are untrue.
3. God: Spend time in the Bible. Research a handful of Bible verses to keep with you, or top of mind that affirm your beauty and value. When I have the urge to say something negative, I think about Psalm 139:14, which says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.” Amen!

Whew! I know that’s a lot to digest right away, but thank you for sticking with me. I can’t help but imagine what beautiful things we can all achieve as women if we channel the time we used to spend ‘fat talking’ toward thinking about how we can be a blessing to others. Maybe it’s a co-worker who needs to hear how great they look, or a friend who needs you to pick up the phone just to say you’re thinking about them. I know that I’ll be looking for a way to fill the time that I used to spend talking negatively about my body. And I can’t wait to see what God has in store.

Madison

Will you take the No Fat Talk Challenge with Madison and me?

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colorful aspirations.

Back in November I shared a cute Kate Spade "Live Colorfully" print and asked you, "What does live colorfully mean to you?" Then at the end of December, I briefly shared some dreams for my future in the life you imagine.

As I've thought about that phrase more and more (you really can't escape it when you follow Kate Spade on Twitter!) I've decided to make it my focus for 2012—so much so that I bought the adorable iPad case pictured above to remind myself.

Thus, in more detail than my previous posts, here's what "live colorfully" will look like for me in the coming year:

• pursuing real beauty—kindness, joy, compassion, love, generosity, and confidence—with more fervor and intention than with my physical appearance (read more here)
• spending more time outside, enjoying how beautiful nature is and how lovely fresh air smells
• continuing to explore my personal style, not being afraid to put together bold outfit combinations that align with my mood, personality or need for creativity
• writing more notes to friends, expressing love, encouragement, or even just a friendly hello
• taking more risks in my work, such as submitting my writing to more outlets and this new endeavor.
• trying new things, especially experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen
• being more open to discovering who I am rather than being consumed with defining who I am

While I'm tempted to follow the methodical system used in The Happiness Project, I am going to be a little bit more laid back with my year. Instead, I'll write down these colorful aspirations and keep them visible, and keep track of progress through journal entries and Instagram photos. At the end of the year, I think it'll be clear whether or not my life has a little more color in it.

Do you have a major theme or special focus for your upcoming year?

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on compassion.

When I started writing part three of "The Character of Beauty" series, one woman defined compassion in my mind: Pam Cope. Read more about her, the beautiful ways she's changing the world, and how we can all start to live more compassionate lives...

Compassion can be defined as a sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. Or, in simpler terms, compassion is kindness that is moved to action.

That kind of character is what I see when I think of Pam Cope, a woman who is changing the world every day because of her small acts of compassion. Struck by the poverty she and her husband witnessed while visiting an orphanage in Vietnam, she knew she wanted to change the lives of the children who had to beg on the streets for survival.

They started by renting a small apartment in Saigon to house 15 street children, providing them with food, clothing, education, and family. A few months later, they rented another house and brought 15 more children to safety.

In 2006, Pam’s compassion moved her once again. She saw a little boy named Mark on the front page of The New York Times and knew she had to do something. His story tugged her heart so much that she coordinated a trip to Africa so that she could rescue him from slavery. [Read more...]

UPDATE: Read the whole series here.

Who do you think of when you hear the word "compassion" and why?

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a most delightful day: finding my freedom.

Yesterday, I had the most delightful day. I feel it necessary to preface this with telling you that I was supposed to be away at a conference all day long (7am to 10pm). I had gone the day before to host a table for Wonderfully Made, but aside from meeting a few interesting people, I felt like it was pretty much a wash of a day. Allie and I made the executive decision that it wasn't worth it to spend another full day in a near-empty room talking to nobody.

Thus, yesterday started with the feeling of freedom.

Just knowing that I was supposed to be somewhere else made me feel like a kid playing hooky. Brian has bible study at 6:30am on Wednesdays, and while I usually sleep until the last moment before he walks out the door, I woke up early with him—energized enough to make him a cup of coffee before he left!

Once I had the place to myself, I cracked open my bible study homework, for which I got to read Hebrews 11 and learn more about the story of Rahab—a prostitute who ended up in the lineage of Jesus (I just love seeing the way God redeems everyone, especially those of us with junk in our past).

Then, for the first time in months I felt a strong urge to go for a jog (I know, what?!?). I attribute this urge to something I read in Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project. When she was young, she wanted to redecorate her room to be more sophisticated. Her dad agreed to the room makeover on one condition: that for 20 minutes a day, four days a week she go outside and go for a run. He didn't care how fast or how far she went—or even that she actually ran rather than walked:

"All he asked was that I put on my running shoes and shut the door behind me."

That got me thinking, why don't I do that? Twenty minutes is nothing—I just have to put on my shoes and walk out the door. Thus, today I tried it and let me tell you, it was wonderful! Armed with a motivating new playlist ("Immigrant Song" by Trent Raznor, "Cracks"; by Freestylers, "All Fall Down" by Camo & Krooked, and the like), I found myself doing sprint intervals for twenty minutes on a familiar route in my neighborhood.

If the coffee hadn't done it, the run certainly did: I was refreshed, energized, and ready to take on the day. While waiting for my post-shower hair to dry, I read a blog post by one of my favorite bloggers that inspired me to reach out to her and ask if she would write a guest post for my blog. Much to my delight, she agreed—and even asked me if I would write a guest post for her! This day could not get any better—or so I thought.

After lunch, I had an unexpected and lovely phone chat with Erin. I admit, I really hate the phone. But I can't deny how much hearing her voice and having a real (not email or text) conversation made me feel connected, loved, and encouraged.

On top of all of the already-awesomeness that my day had seen, I stumbled across a candle sale at Bath + Body Works (woo!) while walking to Starbucks. Four candles for $20? Don't mind if I do.

When I finally got to Starbucks—with a big bag of discounted candles in my hand, I might add—my favorite table in the corner was open, as if it was waiting for me to arrive and sit down. I settled in, ordered my favorite super-expensive soy triple-shot cappuccino because I got a free drink card in the mail yesterday, and cracked open my kindle to read for the rest of the afternoon.

I don't mean to brag or make you feel like my life is perfect, but rather I share this with you because I learned something valuable yesterday—some little nuggets of truth God has been trying to teach me for so many months now: Enjoy the small moments and opportunities to be creative. Don't feel guilty about the freedom you have in your schedule—you don't work in an office anymore, so don't live in bondage to the office mentality. Embrace the freedom, savor it, and use it to live each day to the full.

I've needed to grasp this for a while, but it wasn't until I had a day like today (much like my former office days) where I was supposed to be someplace, but instead had the whole day open to my imagination. In a very real and tangible way, I could see how much I've wasted my freedom by trying to live according to other people's standards: Work hours are from 8 to 6. Find one place to work for the day and stay there. Produce, produce, produce.

Now I see that I've had it all wrong, and can finally start fully enjoying the career I've been led to. I can read and write and start new projects. I can go for a walk in the middle of the day, or meet a friend for coffee. I can work from my fluffy bed or the coffee shop down the street. Whatever works best for that day is totally allowed and totally okay. I am free to be myself and live by my own set of rules.

When have you felt like you were living according to someone else's standards?

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spoken word: jesus > religion.

Below is a video from one of our Wonderfully Made contributors, Jeff Bethke. In Jeff's own words, this is:

"A poem I wrote to highlight the difference between Jesus and false religion. In the scriptures Jesus received the most opposition from the most religious people of his day. At it's core Jesus' gospel and the good news of the Cross is in pure opposition to self-righteousness/self-justification. Religion is man centered, Jesus is God-centered. This poem highlights my journey to discover this truth. Religion either ends in pride or despair. Pride because you make a list and can do it and act better than everyone, or despair because you can't do your own list of rules and feel "not good enough" for God. With Jesus though you have humble confident joy because He represents you, you don't represent yourself and His sacrifice is perfect putting us in perfect standing with God!"

How does this change or reinforce your view of Jesus?

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life to the full.

[photo credit]

Do you believe this is true? What does "life to the full" mean to you?

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sweet potato chili.

This recipe is adapted from one of my new favorite blogs, Going Home to Roost. Chili is always a go-to meal for me during the fall and winter months because it's hearty, warm, and easily made vegetarian. I love the twist this one has with the sweet potatoes, and found it to be extra delicious when served over rice or quinoa.

INGREDIENTS
Brown rice or quinoa, cooked
1 onion, chopped
3 red bell peppers, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tbs olive oil
2 cans of crushed tomatoes
4 sweet potatoes, chopped into 1/4″ pieces
1 can black beans
5-6 cups water
1 tbs cumin
2 tbs chili powder
Dash of ground cloves
1 tsp cardamom
Avocado, to garnish the top
Salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat oil in a large stock pot and saute onions, peppers and garlic until onion is translucent (about 5-7 minutes).
2. Add all of the spices and cook for about another 3 minutes.
3. Add the water, tomatoes, sweet potatoes and black beans and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until sweet potatoes are tender, about 15-20 minutes. Serve over cooked brown rice or quinoa with sliced avocado.

Do you have a favorite veggie chili recipe? If so, please share!

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great work.

What do you believe is great work? Where do passion and tremendous interest meet in your life? Where are you on the journey toward loving what you do?

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celebrate & encourage.

[photo credit]

A friend once said to me, "It only takes one minute to make someone's day," referring to how simple it is to send a quick text or email to a friend, and how much of an impact that little act can have. Think about it. How loved do you feel when a friend remembers to ask you about how a difficult meeting you were worried about went, or tell you happy birthday, or even, let you know why you're awesome? It totally makes your day!

Inspired most recently by the waitress I met in Rhode Island, I want to be the kind of person who celebrates and encourages others. I admit that I haven't been the best at this over the past couple years. I've forgotten to send birthday cards, neglected to congratulate friends on new jobs, and even missed a few thank you notes. Shameful, yes, but sadly it's true.

So often, girls can become each other's enemies. We can get it into our minds that we will feel better and more worthy if someone else feels worse or less worthy. But the truth is, we're all on the same team. Rather than ignore or compete with each other, let's encourage each other and affirm one another's value.

Although I've been majorly slacking on my personal correspondence for far too long, I'm ready to start fresh in 2012. Number one on the to-do list is to make a master calendar of everything important: birthdays, anniversaries, graduation and wedding dates. From there, it really only takes a minute.

What small steps can you take toward celebrating and encouraging the women around you?

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the privilege of a lifetime.

This is a beautiful quote if you have a grasp of who you are, but a very confusing and frustrating one if you're trying to figure it out. How do you respond to the question, who are you? Do you know the answer with confidence? What is it rooted in? Your beauty or style? Your intelligence, college major or profession? Your relationships?

This is a concept I'm excited to say will be discussed thoroughly in our upcoming Wonderfully Made bible study, Wonderfully Made: Becoming Who You Are In Christ. It's something that we all yearn for—the understanding of who we are and what we're here for—and the good news is that there are answers to those questions.

I tried for years to create myself through my appearance and my work, but I was always left wanting. Only in the past year or two have I really come to see that my identity isn't something I can create or invent by playing a role or wearing a mask, but rather it's something that is given to me by the One who made me.

"For in Him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28)

For me, the great privilege of knowing who I am is actually found in knowing who He is—that is, Jesus. By knowing Him, I know my true self more and more. Through my relationship with Him, I am empowered to become more beautiful than I ever imagined—filled with kindness, joy, compassion, love, generosity and confidence. That is the privilege of a lifetime.

Where are you on your journey toward discovering your true identity? What has helped (or is helping) you in the process?

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on joy.

Good morning, and happy new year! Now that we're all getting back into the swing of things—school, work, life in general—we have high hopes that 2012 will be better, easier, and more prosperous than last year. Inevitably, though, we will all face tragedy, difficulty, frustration and uncertainty at some point between now and next January. Here is my latest article for Darling Magazine—The Character of Beauty: Joy—to equip us to be beautiful women even when life doesn't go as expected:

If I’ve learned one thing in the past few years it is this: joy is not the same as happiness. Rather, It is having hope in the face of darkness and tragedy, and living life with a grateful heart for all of the things we do have, rather than focusing on all that we don’t.

This year I’ve learned the hard way about this kind of non-happiness joy. Through the past eight money-saving months as a newlywed, the sudden deaths of young friends, and the realization that I have no control over the outside world, I’ve come to learn–rather, been forced to learn–what joy really is and how to live it out. I’ve cried, I’ve envied, and I’ve felt more than my share of frustration. But through those feelings and the nasty circumstances, I’ve come to understand joy in ways I never had before. [Read more...]

UPDATE: Read the whole series here.

Have you learned the difference between happiness and joy? How so?

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