true beauty: karli megan spence

Karli has been the closest thing I've had to a sister since we first met in 5th grade. We both had just moved into the neighborhood, and our moms decided we should be friends. From there, we have laughed and cried and vacationed and grown more and more into the women God created us to be. Karli is one of the most beautiful girls I know, and I am so blessed by our sisterhood-like-friendship.

Karli with her husband Nick.

What is your greatest passion in life? How do you live it out?

My greatest passions in life are building relationships and encouraging others to develop their own strengths and gifts. I believe that every relationship we enter, whether it's for 30 seconds or for 30 years, is an opportunity to show God to someone. In Shawna Niequist's book, "Cold Tangerines," she says something that really sums about how I feel about relationships. She points out that, through relationships, we are able to "act on behalf of God in the lives of the people we're close to, reminding each other who God is." It's an amazing and huge responsibility!

What woman inspires you?

My mom is absolutely my inspiration. She is the most giving, loving, positive and hilarious woman I know. She seems to radiate God's love wherever she goes. She just got back from her fourth trip to Kenya where she ministered to and loved on people in the town of Nakuru. I hope to be as cool as she is someday.

How does what you do for a living fit in with your passions and what you feel is your calling?

I've been blessed to find a career, occupational therapy, in which I can daily live out both of my passions: building relationships and developing others. I'm so excited that God has given me the opportunity to change lives in this way. It's amazing to see how He has orchestrated so many experiences in my life to lead to this place where I feel so at peace about what He is calling me to do. He is truly shaping all of us everyday!

When do you feel most alive?

I feel most alive when I'm traveling. There's something about being in an entirely new place with no agenda that makes me feel so free. If I wasn't pursuing occupational therapy, I'd want to be a Professional Traveler. If you know anyone who'd be willing to pay me for that, let me know. :)

What do you think is the most challenging thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

As a 20-something girl myself, I find that there are so many distractions from pursuing Jesus. We're at a time in our lives where we're finding out what we want to do with our lives, we're building lasting relationships and really establishing ourselves. All of these are great things, but they can become distracting and consuming. It's awesome, though, how much more fulfilling each of these experiences are when you invite Jesus to enter the picture.

What do you think is the most rewarding thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

The most rewarding thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl (or even as a 40-something girl!) is the knowledge that there is a purpose behind everything in our lives. Every great experience and every challenge is for a greater purpose: shaping us into who God wants us to become. I find a lot of peace in that.

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book review: bittersweet

I have been a fan of Shauna Niequist since the moment I first heard her speak at a women's event at my church. She read some excerpts from her newest book, Bittersweet, that inspired me so much that I went home and immediately ordered it online.

The title is an appropriate word to describe how I felt when I finished reading it last week, as I was delighted to have read it, yet sad that it was over! I absolutely loved it for so many reasons, but here are the main highlights:

• It's well-written. I found myself captivated by the beautiful strings of words she put down on every page. I was enthralled by her story-telling and her tone, and I felt like I was sitting across from her, hearing her words first hand.
• It's relevant. Shauna covers everything from friendship and hospitality to miscarriages and loss. She writes from her own experiences, and she offers wisdom to those of us young 20-somethings who haven't quite gotten there yet. I felt encouraged and inspired with every page.
• It's relatable. This book is about "change, grace and learning the hard way"--three things I can definitely relate to. Shauna is honest and vulnerable throughout the book in a way that made me feel like everything was going to be alright.

Have you read Bittersweet? What did you think of it?

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facebook, appearance & attention.

Last month I wrote about the comparison game--specifically through the lens of social media and our fractured view of others' lives. Then this morning Erin sent me a link to an LA Times article on Facebook, appearance and attention--through the lens of our own desire to manipulate others' perception of us--and I knew I needed to share it with you girls. Happy reading!

Women who post lots of photos of themselves on Facebook value appearance, need attention, study finds

By Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times

A study on how people use social networking websites such as Facebook confirms what many of us suspected. Women who post loads of photos of themselves on their sites are conveying some strong personal characteristics, according to new research. These women are more likely to base their self-worth on appearance and use social networking to compete for attention.

The study involved 311 men and women with an average age of 23. In order to better understand aspects of social networking behavior, the researchers looked at the amount of time subjects spent managing profiles, the number of photos they shared, the size of their online networks and how promiscuous they were in terms of “friending” behavior. The participants completed a questionnaire designed to measure self worth and were asked about their typical behaviors on Facebook.

There were differences between women and men. Overall, the results suggest that, compared with men, females identify more strongly with their image and appearance and use Facebook to compete for attention, said the lead author of the study, Michael A. Stefanone, an assistant professor of communications at the University of Buffalo.

The women who had the largest social networks and posted more photos of themselves were more highly vested in their appearance.

“The results suggest persistent differences in the behavior of men and women that result from a cultural focus on female image and appearance,” Stefanone said in a news release. “[I]t is disappointing to me that in the year 2011 so many young women continue to assert their self worth via their physical appearance — in this case, by posting photos of themselves on Facebook as a form of advertisement. Perhaps this reflects the distorted value pegged to women’s looks throughout the popular culture and in reality programming from ‘The Bachelor’ to ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians.’ ”

The authors also speculated that posting a lot of photos of oneself in the company of other people “may serve to communicate the importance of particular relationships because these bonds may provide security regarding ones appearance and self worth.”

The people who tended to base their self worth on things like academic competence, family love and support, and being a virtuous or moral person spent less time online and showed less interest in attention-seeking through social media.

How has Facebook (and other social media sites) impacted your source and sense of self-worth?

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lent: it's about Jesus.

Today is Ash Wednesday, which some of you may know marks the beginning of the season of Lent, a 40-day period of time before Easter.

“The word ‘lent’ comes from the Latin word for ‘lengthen,’ because the days of Lent occur during the springtime of the year, when the daylight hours increase. The period consists of 40 days because the number 40 has special biblical significance: Moses and the people of Israel were in the wilderness for 40 years; Jesus was tempted in the desert for 40 days. Since the days of the early church, in the decades and centuries after the death and Resurrection of Christ, Christians have regarded the period of Lent as a time for repentence and reflection. It is invariably marked by fasting (going without food and/or water for a period of time), by giving up something during Lent (sweets; the sports page), and by taking on such habits that will increase one’s devotion to Christ.” (www.pcusa.org/lent)

Although sacrifice and fasting are certainly part of observing Lent, it's important for us to remember that it's not about the sacrifice we choose to make or our discipline in fasting--it's about Jesus:

"Anything that makes us less self-indulgent and more aware of our responsibilities to our neighbor can be helpful. But let’s not miss the larger goal, the greater reason. The point of the Christian walk is to become like Christ, and Lent—the fasting, the prayers, the repentance, the self-discipline—is there to help us on the journey." -Joel J. Miller

Will you observe Lent this year? If so, what will you do (or not do) to become more like Jesus?

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the joy of our beauty.

[photo credit]

The joy of our beauty is being taken from us everyday. We look in the mirror and hate what's in front of us. My hair isn't long enough, my legs aren't thin enough, my abs aren't flat enough. We think If only I were _________, then I would be beautiful. We consider ourselves average and common-looking--perhaps not unattractive, but certainly not pretty or beautiful, or stunning.

Why is this?

I believe that men and women reflect different parts of the image of God, and that one of the features women reflect is beauty. We know that God is beautiful because we read it in Scripture:

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)

From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth. (Psalm 50:2)

Honor and majesty surround him;strength and beauty fill his sanctuary. (Psalm 96:6)

The Lord is beautiful and we uniquely get to reflect that as women. When we deny our own beauty, we deny His beauty--both His creation and His image. This world is dying, and our bodies are decaying, but the beauty of God that we reflect as women will never fade, because His beauty is eternal.

Look in the mirror today and delight in what you see, even if it's not the reflection that you wish you had. Look at your eyes, your smile, your skin, your hair, your legs. Thank your body for what it does for you and spend this week delighting in the joy of your beauty. You are a woman, and you are beautiful.

How have you been robbed of the joy of your beauty?

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