true beauty: erin marie pommer

I am so excited to feature Erin Pommer in this month's True Beauty post. She has been a dear friend of mine since college, and our friendship continues to deepen with each year. Erin is a fun, athletic, radiant girl who has taught me more about the love of God than she'll ever know. 

Erin with her husband Dave.

What is your greatest passion in life? How to you live it out?

My greatest passion in life is hospitality - making others feel important and loved . I love serving others in that arena, whether it's hosting people, writing a simple card, cooking or baking something. Offering a service to someone who either can't do it themselves, or needs a word of encouragement, that is my joy and passion. I live this out by trying to be aware of others needs, and trying to take the time to respond. It's important for people to know they are loved and valued, in whatever capacity we can show that, we should.

What woman inspires you?

There are so many women in my life that inspire me, spark my creativity and make me want to take my life to the next level. My friend Sarah inspires me. She lives such a life of transparency, through hardship and good times, she is faithful knowing what the Lord wants for her life, and who has called her to be. From that, she has such a joy and understanding that I so value. She knows that all she encounters in her life has been placed there for a reason, so she walks in all that life has to offer her. She inspires me to live a life unbridled - transparent because I am no better and no worse than anyone else.

How does what you do for a living fit in with your passions and what you feel is your calling?

My friend Jess and I used to play a game when we'd talk on the phone that we'd have to tell each other how our day was and what we did during the day without using any words or phrases that would make it seem like a job. For example, I could say, "I chatted on the phone with my new friend so and so, and we got really excited together talking about her son's birthday party." Or "I got to feed a little league team today to help celebrate their season's end."

I am blessed to be in a job that combines many of my passions - food, sports and hospitality. I love talking about food, I love talking about sports, and on top of that, I get to help people plan parties. There are definitely frustrating/my job sucks/I need a change days, and it's easy to become un-rooted from the calling and purpose of why you're there. It's in those days that I need to take a step back, think about the client I get to serve and the people I work with...this is the perfect arena to live out my passion of hospitality and making people feel special.

When do you feel most alive?

I feel most alive when I'm stripped away from my comforts. Those times where your gut reaction is needed, and the Spirit's word are weighing heavily on your heart. I find that in these times, I see the world in a different way. My senses become raw, and I feel like I can get a better glimpse of how our Creator sees the world.

What do you think is the most challenging thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

The most challenging thing about following Jesus could be just that, following Him. The Bible makes it very clear that every action we take either sows seeds for the Spirit, or for the flesh. This is something I definitely struggled with in college, denying the fact that the choices I made in that moment had any long term effect, and that after I graduated, I would be serious about following Jesus. I continue to struggle with denying the world and all it seemingly has to offer me to live for Christ and only Christ, and not to use my age, career or others as an excuse. We are never to young to get serious and real about our faith.

What do you think is the most rewarding thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

Our 20's are some of the most formative times in our life. Following Christ can prevent us into falling into things of the world that can cause serious and lasting damage. Allowing Christ to be a part of the time in life that is most telling of the type of woman we will become, and allowing him to be a part of our molding and forming process can take so much stress off of us. To know that the direction Christ is leading us towards is to his perfect rythm and timing prevents so much anxiety to "make it happen for ourselves".

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book review: unbearable lightness

One week ago I ordered Portia de Rossi's Unbearable Lightness from Amazon. Yesterday, I finished the book. It was one of those compelling reads that you just can't put down. I woke up, I read a chapter. I went to bed, I read two chapters. On my lunch break, I squeezed in a few pages in between bites of my sandwich. I was completely hooked from the first page.

This. Book. Was. A. maz. ing.

Why did I love it so much? Why could I not stop reading it? Why am I raving so much about it? Why do I feel so refreshed by it? Here are just a few reasons why this book has instantly become one of my favorites:

• It's raw and honest. Portia holds nothing back. Although at first I was put off by her use of numbers--her weight, her calorie intake, her body measurements--I soon realized that it was necessary to the story. Without that perspective, the story wouldn't have the powerful impact that it has.
• It's accurate. As someone with a history of anorexia, binge eating, distorted body image and extreme obsession with my physical appearance, I felt understood. I felt understood as I read each word on the page because I knew, even though I never want to feel those feelings or be that person again, someone else got it. It's comforting to know that you're not alone.
• It's secular. This book has given me a greater perspective on eating disorders because it's not written through the lens of Christianity. I'm thankful that I can now better grasp what it's like for a girl to struggle in such darkness without the hope and comfort of a loving God. As believers, I think it's essential that we are exposed to non-Christian literature and points of view. At the end of the day, how are we going to meet someone where they're at if we don't even try to understand where they're at?
• It ends well. I won't give away any specifics for those of you who are yet to read it, but I will say that it has a wonderful ending. Gotta love that.

Have you read this book yet? What are your thoughts?

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brides should be skinny.

photo courtesy

Ew. That title is horrifying. It's a lie, but it's one that I've been fighting with myself not to believe. You see, when I look at other brides, I see how glowing, radiant and in love they are. I see the joy oozing out of their pores and they are nothing but beautiful, whether they are skinny or not.

As much as I see that in other brides, in two months I will be in their shoes, and I'm starting to feel the pressure. The pressure to be perfect, the pressure to be skinny, the pressure to be beautiful without even trying. It's funny how twisted everything can get in your head--you think you need to look different even though the way you look is exactly the way your fiancé loves you.

A funny thing happened in the kitchen at my office this morning while I was talking with some female coworkers. Stephanie, another bride-to-be, looked at me and said,

You look so pretty today. See, that's how skinny I want to be for my wedding.

I shamefully confess that I was flattered, even though I know better than to associate skinny with pretty. I responded saying,

Thanks, Stephanie. I've been feeling a lot of pressure to be perfect for the wedding, but that's just a great reminder for me to embrace who I am and stop worrying so much.

And here's where it got crazy. Without thinking, Stephanie replied,

You can totally lose at least 8 lbs before the wedding! You have plenty of time.

And then the room went silent. In an effort to help get Stephanie's foot out of her mouth, the other girls poured compliments out on my like nobody's business...

Oh, but you look so beautiful as you are!

You don't have to lose a pound!

You don't even have 8 lbs to lose!

I laughed it off, knowing that Stephanie meant nothing by it. If anything, she understood more than anyone in the room what was going through my head because she's in the same boat. She didn't say it because it was true, she said it because she was thinking the same thoughts for herself. I realized then that we are both trapped in the lie that brides should be skinny, and that the most important thing about our wedding days will be the photos.

Why are we so conditioned to believe that brides should be skinny? How did/will you respond to the pressure for bridal perfection?

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girlfriends are forever.

First of all, I must thank Brian for so kindly postponing a Valentine's Day celebration with me last night so that I could throw a little get-together for just the ladies. What a good guy, right?

These adorable girls you're looking at are my small group girls from UCSD. Last night I had them over for a girls-only night filled with laughter, sweet and savory treats, silly abbreviations for commonly used phrases, and When Harry Met Sally (my all-time fave).

It was such a special night of female bonding, which I always value. Brian may be my best friend in the whole world, but nothing can replace the value of female friendships in my life. If we are to grow into the women God has called us to be, we need to invest in and deepen our relationships with other women.

Since college I've scaled back on my male friendships and been more intentional with girlfriends. As a single girl back then, of course there was value in having male acquaintances--after all, how was I ever going to find the right guy if I didn't know anybody of the opposite sex? However, I think casual friendship is where it should stop with girls and guys.

At the end of the day, there should be just one close male relationship in our life (whoever we're dating or married to) and an abundance of close female friendships. Outside of that, I think we're setting ourselves up for trouble.

Do you have girlfriends that you're investing in? Do you think Harry had it right when he told Sally, "men and women can't be friends"?

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you are loved.

Know your value today. You are loved...

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete
expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand
on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you
close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications © 1999-2010 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

Which of these truths about God's love for you resonates the most in your heart?

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no complaining, no criticizing.

[photo credit]

I realize my last post was based on Twitter, but I can't help myself--it's a major source of my information for the day! I'm inspired this morning by Beth Moore's challenge, which is along the same line as wanting what you've got and the comparison game:

Go all day without complaining or criticizing a single time.

Just the thought of it is scary. When I read the tweet this morning I thought, What a great idea! I'm so in! And then immediately I became extra-aware of every complaint and critical thought in my head. I have so many of those thoughts I've become numb to them!

I am quick to complain when my situation isn't what I anticipated it to be, and I am also quick to criticize--mostly myself. But what good does it do? How does it bring me closer to God? How does it help me love others and myself more fully and deeply like Jesus does? How does it make the situation better? It doesn't.

The temperature won't go down just because I declare that it's too hot. I won't get any taller because I complain that I'm short. I will not feel a smidgen more awake because I tell everyone I didn't get enough sleep.

So for today, complaints and criticisms are not welcome. Hold me accountable if you hear me slip!

Can you go a whole day without complaining or criticizing?

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the comparison game.

Today's post is inspired by a simple and wise tweet from my beloved fiance:

I recently wrote about wanting what you've got, but today I'm talking about a different side of the same coin: comparison.

I can't say for sure, but I'd venture to guess that most of you have played the comparison game. You know what I'm talking about--you wish you had a body like that girl you just walked by, a job like so-and-so, an exciting life like that girl who always posts exotic travel photos on Facebook.

Even when our lives are going well--we're healthy, we're employed, we have close friendships--we easily perceive that someone else's life is better and we decide what we have isn't good enough. I say the word perceive because we never really know what's going on inside. I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I've played the comparison game before, only to find out that my perceptions were nothing but an image, and the girl whose body/salary/vacations/etc. I had so envied, actually didn't have the perfect life after all.

Social media is the worst in all of this. Don't get me wrong, I love my technology! I am amazed at how effective email, Facebook and Twitter have been in maintaining close relationships with my friends and family who live far away. But that's not the function of social media I'm talking about--I'm talking about how we can let it poison our minds with the false belief that others have it better than we do.

We read about what someone ate for lunch, how much they love their job, how wonderful their friends and family are. We see online conversations that probably shouldn't be public, and we are so quick to think that our lives are less-than-awesome in comparison. With each Facebook post, photo album or Twitter update, we see nothing but a fragmented image of who these people are, an incomplete (often more perfect) version of their lives that is untrue.

Do you play the comparison game? Why do you think it's so easy to imagine that others have it better?

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